Air Guitar Update

I haven't posted much in the last few months, and some of you are surely wondering what has become of my air guitar career. I retired shortly after my defeat in the Asheville, N.C., regional, but I came out of retirement within a couple of weeks. (I've since retired again, but I plan to come out of retirement again in time for the 2007 air guitar season.)

In June, I competed in a local competition under the stage name CroBar. I dominated the competition, being called the "Michael Jordan of Air Guitar" by the emcee. In the finals at the end of the month, I had about 20 screaming, sign-wielding CroBar fans at the venue to cheer me on as I performed two System of a Down songs. At the end of the night, however, I took second place and did not win the $500 and VIP tickets to Ozzfest.

This week, legendary air guitarist Dan "Bjorn Turoque" Crane released his air guitar memoirs, To Air Is Human: One Man's Quest to Become the World's Greatest Air Guitarist. This is literature at its finest, and I highly recommend that you buy a copy. Be sure to check out Mr. Turoque's critique of my 2005 New York City performance ("Maybe 'Go-Veg.com of Steel' started things off on a bad note when he tried to use the event to push his vegan anti-meat agenda") on page 241 and my fanmail (in the "E-Mails from Deranged Air Guitarists" appendix) on page 302.

Finally, I'd like to clarify that CroBar will not be performing at the 2006 Oyhoo Festival (aka the New York Jewish Music & Heritage Festival and Sidney Krum Conference). "Crobar" is listed on the schedule of events for September 16, but a festival representative responded to my e-mail of concern and clarified the matter: "The venue is Crobar, located on 28th Street, where one of our shows will be taking place. Will look at the language used. Thanks for pointing it Mr. Crobar." Perhaps next year the Oyhoo Festival will allow one of the world's leading Jewish air guitarists to perform.